A Royal Summing Up

This is more than likely going to be looong, very long!!! It's what happens when you don't get online, well have time to write. It's been hectic this week. So yeah, here I go, boring strangers to death! =)

Saturday, went to the cinema with my friend Scarlett aka. The Sadist in my motley libary crew, shall explain:basically a group of us who hang out in the libary ar school, and don't be mistaken we are NOT quiete, that's a big mistake. But yeah, my mum drove me to the bus stop, so we wait together. The bus drives past us, not even slowing down, we even run after it, and then comes the "oh shit, I have to tell my mum I can't even catch a bus" but she drove us there after giving the advice "stick your hand out" but I never knew. It's not something you know, but are taught, and I guess we learnt the hard way.

Anyway the film we went to see was Black Swan, I had been excited for a couple months, and O-M-Gee! It's amazing, dark, twisted and mildly disturbing but maybe one of my favourite films. It's stunning, the imagery in it, the claustrophobic filming, and the gripping story, a perfect film. I love it so much. Plus it has given a new I don't know what to call it, but I guess inside joke. In the film this man asks the dancer for homework to touch herself, and so now at school, when you go "have you done your homework?" it's giggle time.

Sunday, I'm not sure what happened overly, but parents were arguing and it's awful when they do, I hate it.

Monday youthclub!!! It's fun helping out, but the shame is due to government cutbacks it may have to close! =(

Tuesday-Parent's Evening! Dun-dun-dun.........

So far as to say I'm not dead, so obviously it wasn't too  bad. It went okay, funny thing is my parents arrived separetely but because they had to pretend they were getting on, they ended up talking and are now okay. At least it was good for something then. I take chemistry, physics, biology and history for A-level, hence shorter parent's evening than other years, but still took a while.Turns out I'm doing okay. Though it seems every single teacher thought I was going to fail in the first six weeks, but to be honest I was depressed and not coping well, but now here's to things looking up! History was fine, though one teacher has this thing about me being a "smart young thing" riiiiiiiiiight! Biology one teacher, Mrs Th asked if I even liked it, which made me laugh, and my parenst, and herself. Then in chemistry I got told I was getting better, woop. That's the hardest subject I think, and I hate maths and that's in physics. But in physics the teachers, as two were in that one ended up discussing with my parents and me about how my writing is like a boy, I think like a boy, I answer like a boy, and to the teachers they have even discussed how like a boy I am. So I was like I'm not a boy, I'm a physicst, and I now want a t-shirt with that on!

Wednesday-I got Vogue!!! Yay, and that made me laugh, as that day I was wearing yellow eyeshadow and it turns out it was on the catwalk and is coming in, so I was "fashion forward" shockingly. I lvoe Vogue so much, it's amazing, the photogrpahy level is stunning and it's amazingly artistic and interesting to read. I have people tell me "you can't read it" because they don't understand it's a magazine, but it also has articles, they just think it's for thick people. Hell knows why?! They don't read Vogue more than likely, just trashy reality magazines.

Today, aka Thursday, some odd things been afoot. In biology the teacher said we'd be listening to a clip from radio 4 and I don't know why, but I went yay, so she was like do you listen to it, "No, I'm just happy!" Made her laugh and everyone else.

I've been promisng a friend for a while I'd go to chemistry club and so I went today, and we were burning paper, but not really, it was a "magic mixture" that let you set fire to the ethanol in the picture, but as it had a lower flash point than the water, it burnt, but didn't damage the paper. So I got asked to demonstrate it in class, which was straight after lunch, both my chemistry teachers run this club so meh. But I did it, and it went okay. I was nervous but it went fine. So I had a good day and I'm really happy at the moment


I hope my mood lasts, but I doubt it. I'm in a bit of a quandry over whether I should see a friend I haven't seen in months. The reason being:I got tired of constantly being the one to arrange anything, and I mean that. It was always me, and it was so complicated. It was a guy by the way, and yeah. I want to be friends, but without the complications and just go back to being friends. Hopefully it will, and yeah. Probably will see him after I finish two history essays, one I have to redo, as I failed the original, with um....2/24.

Wish me luck!

Glitter Kisses

xoxoxox

-

I just found out I shall no longer have ema soon. Becasue the government is full of fascits who see it as fair that people who need support should not be part of society and the working class should be left at the bottom with no chance to better themselves so things stay how they are. So not are unis more for the rich than ever but so is a life. I hate conservatives, rich knobs who can't understand life from the other side of the track. So I am screwed, definitely no slr camera. =(

'Cause you have a bay day...

Today was awful, last night was awful. Right now I feel so unmotivated and dull, like something washed out I have practically zero inspiration. I hate that, truely I do.

So last night I got in and my mum said she'd phoned the collage and the digital photography course was running and I could go to the first session free as I was unsure. Okay, sounds good right. Well it was a basics course, so you know I go along all happy with my compact camera, which is a good one, I like to think but obviously not the best. I made an effort before I went, even used sparkly eyeshadow, ha-humph (noise in my head as I'm retelling this) and yeah looked nice. Got there, ended up walking to the classroom with the tutor, didn't at that point mention when he said "What camera you got?" that I should just go home.

Outside the classroom see people, there's 7 people there, and they all have chunky bags, so already warning bells starting to ready. In the classroom everyone gets their cameras out. Fuck I'm the only one without an slr, so I feel alienated, more so that there's a girl who is younger than me on her second camera and its a slr, and her dad who is there is a middle class prick and she isn't even into, into it. Like, it's a thing more for show than use. And I have my now to me shitty compact, hell today I tried to take a photo and I was felt so deflated well and truely: this is my camera and it's this thing. I can't even do manual.

The tutor goes on about all this stuff that only applies to slr or manual cameras but only really slr so you know the "basic digital photography" course I thought I'd come to was a "only if you have an slr can you really do anything." Plus there was homework which I can't do, hearty-ha-ha. Unsure whether I'll continue, doubt it the course is £55 and I don't see where my money is being spent if I can't apply anything. I was so ughed through it all thinking just because I can't affored an slr nor can my parents I can't learn anything. I wouldn't ask my parents for one, they are really expensive like £300 or so and it's not fair on them, there's 4 of us kids, and ya-know...

Plus the tutor who strikes me as personally artistically impaired said it's a snap if you don't fiddle with settings or it's not in manual, hah and it's only a photograph if it is. So where is the art???????? Photography is an art form, and what makes a photograph is thought, composistion and ideas, as well as lighting not settings!!

So yeah massive dissapointment, nice to know my place I guess with the have-nots because I don't have an slr, gits. Fuck them, they mislabeled a course.

After ended uo in Tesco and I got a penguin toy, who is now my mascot in all matters for 24p, ka-ching, and two new scarves mum bought me one, I love her. Then she had to buy cigarettes for my dad, even though she had just give up that day. Silly man.

Then today was awful, was already blue admittedly. But hey it happens then in general studies, a lesson on society but kinda pointless this teacher was going on about technology and in one bit he went "who has laptops?", then "who doesn't?" I don't, so raised my hand slightly and he said, well laughed as he did "I almost said are you too poor to have one," I don't care if it related slightly-barely to anything, if it was a joke. It made me feel shit, he knows knothing of my life, like my dad is sick, it's on and off to the point for most of a year he couldn't work, he's self-employed too, so yeah effects your life. I'm not well-off, I'm not middle class, I'm working class. But the fact he said that at all just pisses me off, annoyed my mum and dad too, considering I ended up crying after telling them too, it's embarassing that hey I'm not rich and all that. But to have it practically shoved in your face and laughed at as if for a cheap joke, wow that's my life you're laughing at. My mum is more than likely going to make a complaint, it's insensitive to anyone really and he didn't know my background or anything.

It really got to me, so I don't have an slr camera, I don't have a laptop, so what do I have? Compared to other people not a lot, hell my phone is broken and I'm using an old one. But I don't want a laptop, and an slr camera is something I will buy for myself, except I can't as I need to save my ema for uni, as well as any money I get so that's out the window maybe. I don't know. Not sure about the course but =P.

Rant finished.

Ranty-warnt

I have written in so long as basically it's a pig to get online ever. Massive pig, my brother's are ALWAYS on the computer and school has this blocked so I have to endure their bloody-awful gunshots from their silly computer games, hell they may not be but it's annoying. Like for example slept on couch at the weekend, did it as me and my sister were arguing and so no arguements when I went up at midnight, not a good thing at that time. So I fell asleep, admittedly woke up downstairs in mostly dark alone, parents buggered off after watching another film, and I didn't wake up, I'm impressed, well I woke up to gunshots and them shouting. That's one way I hate to start a morning

Today went okay. Wore a new top and people noticed so kinda funny. It may just combine floral and utitliy, it's in utility shades, grey and black but has a floral pattern, so hah Vogue its happened. Reminds me I NEED to get the February issue. I love Vogue, the photography is outstanding, and purely art.

Am getting annoyed as have now realised I hear gunshots from a game my brother is playing and the mouse is driving me nuts, its all squiddly and sticking. =( its so unfair, I don't know how but it is. Or my brother got a netbook for school becasue he needed one, and he's 12, yet I'm 16 and I have to ask hours in advance to go on the computer to do important homework. Plus the computer normally has my 10 year old brother on it. Playing games or on habbo =P, same goes for my brother it's rarely school work but games, mostly ones he plays against my brother. AND they shout to each other even though they are next to each other. It's ridiculous, kids do not need laptops or netbooks, I never had one and I've done well, it's just a way to make kids have yet still a greater lack of information and a reliance on technology.

Sorry about the rant but it occasionly gets to me. Can't think of much else to say but peace, love and pixie dust.

Bad

Yesterday and today was totally crap. Through and through crap.
Walked into a sign whilst fiddling with my mp4, now have a rather lovely purple bruisey-woosy.
Knelt down and my knee connected with a pin.
Used anti-bac and got it into a cut, sting-a-wing-wing.
Have another paper cut.
And worse of all today I had a biology module and it was hard, really hard.

But that's life, and I have new headphones so that's good. Went out at a little past 11 to get them, after drinking a little bit-mum's idea to calm down after my stress attack and blah-blah-blah. So was a bit wah! not tipsy really I guess just all woo.

Also figured out T.Rex is amazing, as in the band not the dinosaur, although that's smokin' too. Was talking about this yesterday in the car with my dad. I love Marc Bolan he was a genius, his music still sounds somewhat up-to-date. Funky but good, and it's catchy. Bazzy and groovy, as he says "Get it on!"

Today I also made up a charming story about a snail called Jeffary Jefferius. I have no idea where the story came from but was amusing none the less. Whimsy is a wonderful thing as well as an excuse to nod and say "So, I like glitter on pants."

Cough. Cough. Cough a horse.

Written on 4.1.11

I feel awful, my mum is going out shortly and hopefully will be coming back with some Vimto ice pops, and the other stuff she needs. This is like the sixth day of whatever I have-some blasted flu/cough. But I went to the doctors and I now have antibiotics. I got all whiney, yeah whiney when I saw the size of the capsules, to me I was like "I can't swallow this" but I did. This is the first day I haven't spent all day on the sofa. First day I slept all day and the rest of the daysI slept a lot as well. I started coming down with it at my Aunt Elaine's New Year Party, it wasn't on New Year as my nan used to have her birthday then so threw a massive party. After she died a  while back it's still hard for my family.